My mentor was asked a question about the stories we tell ourselves that form our base programing, and in turn shape our lives, decide on our happiness levels and define our success.
It was raised that the 5 stories we tend to hold onto are:
- I wasn’t loved enough
- This always happens to me
- I’m never going to get what I want
- I haven’t found my true calling in life
- I’m always alone/abandoned
These stories cry a very strong victim mentality. Not sure about you, but I would certainly want to get rid of these as soon as possible!
In reply to these five stories, my mentors reply was priceless.
‘These stories are a bit of enigma. The truth is that the stories are figments of our imagination at several levels
- Who says they are true, accurate and factual?
- We keep the stories alive by obsessing over them – constantly repeating ‘the truth’ just makes it feel authentic
- The distortion continues as we don’t just remember as it
- What happened doesn’t matter as much as the decision you made about yourself
- The stories keep us away from the truth of our existence in this moment’
He did carry on in more detail. Below is in essence of his explanation:
Have you ever reviewed the ‘facts’ relating to any given situation? Who’s facts were they? Looking at them closely, you will find that people being involved in the same situation experience it completely differently. This is one of the reason police investigations take longer if there is more than one eye witness to a case.
What stories are you keeping alive? Does any of them make you sound like a victim of your own beliefs? The problem is that you will find that you keep repeating these stories to yourself through your self-talk as ‘the truth’. This makes it feel so authentic and real. Then we continue to distort the story, as the more you recall a given situation, event or turmoil the more you end up exaggerating it in your head. Why? Because each time you recall it, you don’t remember the story, you remember the story how you recalled it the last time. Now you know how the fish got to be ‘thiiiiiiiis big’!
Does it really matter what happened? Not really, but look at the decisions you made about yourself at the time, and each time when you recall the story, you are strengthening these beliefs.
Let’s look at our example of a break up, the ‘truth’ – My girlfriend broke up with me is then followed by your story….
- I found my inner strength and moved on
- I knew relationships don’t work
- I am not lovable and I am never going to find happiness
- I cannot trust anyone they will always leave me
Every second spent in the story is a waste of time and reinforcement of it as the ‘truth’.
Be confident that you have everything you need right now to go to the next level, and build a life of happiness, abundance and fulfilment.
The reason we don’t embrace our daily potential to create miracles is that our lessons turn up disguised as problems, which we interpret in the light of the ‘story’ we hold as the truth. We need our story to sound plausible, so we believe it and find ways to confirm it. If the ‘story’ isn’t we find ourselves all out of excuses for being a dickhead. So to get the story confirmed we give it a massive sales job and others who buy it – gather around and give it a good going over. And we lock it in and keep dwelling over it, instead of making life happen.
So what is your story that is holding you back from happiness? Is it worth holding onto, or is it about time that you let go, changed your beliefs and moved on to become the best version of you?
Are you ready to find your stories and rewrite them? Join the Abundant Mind Toolkit to learn how!