I have spoken to so many people about wanting to be happy, so I find it rather fascinating that what people want most is one of their biggest challenge to find.

The reasons I found that people stay miserable are quite simple and so easy to change once you become aware of doing it, that you’ll kick yourself for not thinking of it before!

  1. They ‘Awfulise’

I could say that people worry too much, but once I heard the term ‘awfulise’ it stuck with me.

What it means is that instead of enjoying the current moment and all it has to offer, they spend too much time in the future, thinking ‘what if’ this or that goes wrong. Or considering why the future will be miserable based on past experiences. Deciding that moving forward will be ‘awful’ for one reason or another.

And don’t tell me it is called ‘being a realist’! It is called using your past beliefs, references, and memories to project the future. How do you experience to have a different outcome if your initial outlook is already negative? How do propose you will ever enjoy anything in life if you constantly think about what and why can go wrong?

  1. They Believe Happiness is a Destination

The countless time I heard ‘I’ll be happy when….’ This is a never ending quest because ‘when’ never comes. There is always something to chase after.

Why can’t you be happy now? Be grateful for where you are now. Be grateful for what you have now and for the people that are in your life. If you face challenges, be grateful for the lessons it’s bringing you.

It is amazing how many people I have seen with the latest and greatest and they are miserable, whilst others that have seemingly nothing can be extremely happy.

What is the difference? Those that are happy, are grateful.

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  1. They Do Not Choose Happiness

Happiness is up to you. Others can make you laugh temporarily, but that is not happiness. So don’t put that burden up to your loved ones or friends. You have to make that choice.

At times we can get completely lost in the world, feeling hopeless and wondering why we are even here. I have been there before.

In those dark times, I always looked for the things I had in life already and future goals I set out to achieve that I could work toward. And most of all learnt to become aware of what may be triggering me to feel unhappy and address that issue.

  1. They Expect Happiness To Be A Constant

Happiness is only one of many emotions that you can experience. You cannot constantly be in one state, you need to experience other emotions to have a full life.

There is no way that you would never feel anything but happiness. Surely there are things that would make you feel love, peace, anger, sadness or fear. So don’t expect that you will always feel happy.

  1. Trying To Live Up To Others Expectations

It is actually a very strong fear I found many people having. ‘What would others think if I ….’ Frankly it is none of your business what others think of you, so don’t stop going after your dream based on that what if.

The other way I find people becoming stuck in their lives is that they keep doing things that they hate because, they feel that their loved ones expect them to do that exact thing. This is a sure way to becoming miserable.

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  1. They Forget That Happiness Comes From Within

Like I mentioned you cannot expect others make you happy. Just like that you also cannot expect things – like gadgets, cars, houses etc. make you happy. Not in the long term anyway.

A higher level of happiness comes from challenges. I don’t mean hardship, but challenges that come from working toward achieving your goals.

The highest level of happiness however comes from contributing to a cause, changing people’s lives, something bigger than yourself. I do have to warn you, you have to want to do this. And it has to be to a cause you chose. If it is something you do because someone else expects you to, it will just be a chore.

So how are you stopping yourself from being happy now?

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