Today I want to talk to you about the importance of separating your self-worth from your current salary or prices that you’re charging and your wealth levels.
Firstly, let’s look at what is self-worth?
You might have heard about self-esteem which is basically how you think about yourself based on the things you are doing, the things you have achieved, the things you have in your life. However, self-worth is a level under that – it’s about recognising you’re not any of those things that you feel in your self-esteem (what you are doing or how you are portraying yourself) – you are in fact a loveable worthwhile human being.
The challenge is that most of us experienced some kind of training throughout our life which makes us believe that we are not worth it. That we are not loveable and unless we are doing certain things or not doing certain things based on what we perceive as others expectations are – we are not loveable.
What we need to realise is that our self-esteem and achievements are actually going to last so long without having a healthy self-worth.
What we should start realising is firstly we need to give self-acceptance and love of ourselves before we can expect it from others. What you have possibly doing so far and why you may not be living life exactly on your terms is because you either tried to buy happiness from the outside (by constantly achieving, buying the bigger house, gadgets and sports car). Basically you were looking for that acceptance from the outside. You have all of these “things” but you still feel miserable and worthless and possibly have a high amount of debt to go with that.
Or the other end of the scale is where you are not willing to put yourself out there because you feel you’re not good enough. You’re not going to take the opportunities, put yourself in a position that is outside of your comfort zone. Even your wardrobe can look shabby because you think it doesn’t matter, no one loves me I don’t have to put any effort into life.
Whichever end of the scale you are in you have to recognise your self-worth is affecting your quality of life, how you are living and how you are feeling about yourself because it is creating vicious cycle by trying to look for self-worth from the outside.
Regardless of whether its approval by achievement or saying fuck it’s not worth even trying – all you are doing is constantly confirming to yourself that you are not worth it.
That has got to stop.
The way you are going to stop it is by starting to turn up for yourself.
What I mean by that is recognising where you are at. You must stop where you’re at and ask yourself, why am I doing the things that I am doing?
Am I trying to get love from the outside? Am I doing the things I am doing to try and impress someone? Or accepted by someone? Am I even doing these things because it’s what I want for me or am I just doing it to reconfirm what I have always believed?
So firstly, use awareness to recognise where you’re at. Secondly look at the things that you would REALLY want to do. Stop for a moment and ask yourself “is this the life that I truly want?”. If not, what is it that you want for yourself? What would be required of you to change to get that life?
For example, if you always say to yourself that you want to look amazing but you don’t look that amazing because you don’t exercise and eating healthy then you are going to have to start to do those things. Make the right choices for yourself and show yourself that you are loveable and that you are WORTH IT.
Start building the habits that show yourself you’re with it.
A great habit you can start with is a savings habit. If you don’t have a buffer right now and are stuck in the rat race and are dreading what might happen if you don’t have an income coming from your business or a job then start the savings habit – you are worth it!
If you’re not charging the prices that will give you the money that you need for the life that you want – put them up! Your services are worth it.
Start to look out for you and start turning up for you. It will take time and commitment but by giving yourself what you need you also need to reward your good behaviour.
Like when you are there for yourself. Or when you do follow through on your new habits that you are building – give yourself a reward. What is it that you wouldn’t normally do for yourself? For some people that are constantly on the go and feel like they must always be there for someone it might mean that you give yourself an afternoon off where you put your feet up.
For people that are not willing to get a new wardrobe or sexy bra – it might mean that they go out shopping and get themselves a new amazing outfit as a reward for the new habits that they are building.
So, your current prices and your self-worth are linking in a way that they should not be – so start separating them.
Turn up for yourself and do the right steps for yourself and start charging the fees that your services are worth.