I was speaking with a very close friend of mine just the other day, when she was telling me a story about her son asking what exactly she did at work. The story wasn’t a very exciting one, in fact it was bitter and twisted, about how she wasn’t challenged in her role, she didn’t enjoy it, and was completely disillusioned with the fact that she did five times as much as her team member yet was not renumerated for her efforts.
Then she stopped for a moment. And the son said ‘so basically, you have to sit in front of a computer screen all day’. That concept alone seemed unfathomable for the child, let alone that fact that she would spend 12.5 hours a day doing something she absolutely hated.
So it got me wondered, if a child can see it so easily that it is not something him mom should be doing. Why can’t she see? Or if she sees then why doesn’t she change something. So I asked the question, as expected the answer came back to our drivers, pleasure and pain.
She is a single mum providing for 5, so her fear is that she cannot provide for her family if she changes. She gets the pleasure of the money side of the job, as it is giving them a nice (nothing outrageous) existence. In the meantime she puts herself through immense pain each day doing something she absolutely hates.
Her son is on the right track. That is not a life, that is merely an existence. She needs to either link so much pain to the job that it becomes unbearable and she will change it, or she will need to link bigger pleasure to something else. With the current work hours, wanting to spend more time with the kids is certainly something she misses!
A question arose in my head speaking with her – Why can a 12 year old so easily pick the problem that we cannot see, or do we just not want to admit?
Many a times we actually know where we are going wrong, and we accept it. We really need to break that pattern as not living up to our life purpose can be soul destroying, it is a slow and painful process too.
To break that pattern we have to be aware of what we are doing, we have to live in the now and build our self-awareness so we can realise what we are doing to ourselves. Then instead of sticking our head in the sand figure out what would help us move forward? Do we need to link more pleasure or pain to the current situation to change it for the better?
I think that having that chat with her son was definitely a great wake up call for her. I know she is planning the changes, and laying down the new path to take as we speak. I challenge you today to ask yourself – What do you have in your life hanging around, slowly eating at you that you need to change? Why haven’t you changed yet?