I have recently conducted a survey and found that majority of women are struggling when it comes to managing their time.
Biggest challenge for us is that we aren’t necessarily assertive enough. Unfortunately this comes from our training. Girls are often taught that if they are asking for what they want they are aggressive, damn right bitches! And it is not the right thing for us to do so anyway…
Consequently we taken on a lot of things, ending up stressed, overworked, under appreciated and lacking confidence.
So we really need to overcome that bullsh*t!
Of course we need to be able to ask for help! If you can voice what you are stuck with, what you need help with and what you want to achieve you can reduce your stress levels and improve your confidence. It won’t necessarily happen overnight. Many women had suppressed their voices for years! Expecting yourself to instantly speak up in situations where you previously haven’t been speaking up is unrealistic for most people.
So start with little things.
May be it’s about a movie you don’t want to watch or food you don’t want to eat or an outing you don’t want to go to. Whatever it is that you don’t want to do or don’t agree with.
There is a formula to raise your concern in. If it’s about the movie you could say, “I don’t want to watch [movie name goes here] because it makes me feel [the emotion you don’t want to experience goes here].
Be patient with yourself. It may not go to plan the first time, and that’s OK. It’s all about practice, taking the time to build up your confidence and progressively giving your boundaries a push.
As you become more comfortable with making the initial statements of assertiveness, you can begin to add in the “broken record” technique, where by you keep repeating your statement no matter how many times you are pushed toward doing what you don’t want to do.
The basic rule of putting an assertive statement together is to:
- State the facts
- State how it effects you in terms of your feelings.
Begin with the small stuff, the things that you feel you have the strength to do. Being assertive in those small areas will give you the confidence to take on bigger challenges, progressively working your way up the assertiveness ladder
By becoming assertive on what you do want and what you don’t want you can start managing according to the things that are important to you rather than bending for others’ expectations.
You’re here to be happy, not treated like a doormat – begin standing up for your happiness.